Lee and DaLee hiking

Does playfulness have a place in your marriage?

I believe there is a hierarchy in our lives; our relationship with God is first. Our spouse second, then our children, parents, and family. Lee, my husband of almost 37 years, is my soul mate. We established early in our marriage that our relationship would be our second priority behind our relationship with Christ. We have consistently had a date night, taken trips without the children, and worked at maintaining our marriage. At this time, we have had more good years than bad, and most of the issues that could have destroyed our marriage are behind us. My wish for everyone would be to hang in long enough to get to this point. The sweetness of being empty nesters (or almost) and having a solid foundation, trust, and ease to go into your golden years where life is just comfortable and fun with your spouse is a glorious goal.

We have had the privilege of working from home for more than 15 years, so our schedules haven’t had to adjust as much as some others have. We have been able to continue our morning walks on the greenbelt behind our house for both exercise and a great way to start the day, discuss schedules, dinner, and evening activities. Our lives like yours can be a bit complicated. My Dad has dementia and lives 1000 away that I see every other month, we travel a bit for work, we both have outside interests that keep us busy, and we have five children (spread out across the US), two married and three grandsons.

I honestly did not realize it was missing

I honestly did not realize it was missing. You know how it is, life is complicated, so many demands on our time and energy, and then you just wake up one day and realize it has been quite some time since you have been playful with each other. Oh, he makes me laugh, and I can be funny at times also, but what about the genuine gaiety of play. Like my grandsons chasing me with a plastic snake and me pretending to be scared of it. The frolicsome nature of a spouse that knows you intimately and knows how to garner the deep down belly laugh, because he grabbed you and threw you in the pool? Or chased you down, picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, or tickled you? Yes, I did get to do a “head over heels” summersault into the pool this weekend after my husband grabbed me and pulled me in. AND it was terrific!

In the Book of Song of Songs, Solomon celebrates the goodness and beauty of romantic love. Solomon’s song shows a marriage that captures a romance that reflects the ideal love that God intended for a husband and wife. Take some time to read through this book together.

God designed this life to be an incredible journey discovering life around us. I believe life is to be lived with gusto and, at times, abandon with our soul mate. Do you need some playtime? I would encourage you to seek out times just to be playful!

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